burn.

some days I wish I could scream myself into nothing
unholy fire smoulders in my core
I want this world to writhe in the embers
my wrists smile for the knife

joy of life I crave to share
sweet release of death
fire in my bones
my wrists demand the medicating nails to release


to know and be known
is really all I seek
to share tears and blood
understanding the price, the promise
that comes with each drop while I am here
and when I am emptied of both
to hear "well done"


how long?

disconnect (pt 2): pull the plug

and I've seen through you for a long time
you can't remember, but I knew you in a past life
you were a woman then, today a man
you were a lot older, and we were better friends than ever in this life
so sweet, so full of love... so broken, so tragic, so neurotic...

always looking for love, always running away from yourself, always running away from love,

always running away from your God

You never heard me, but I called you the "amazing falling-appart woman"
how, after all these years, all these examples, have you not seen your way doesn't work?
how is your heart yet strong enough to be broken again?
will it one day break for good?
will you ever break the cycle?
i don't think you can take much more...
i had hoped so many times before... I think I am done now.
i can't watch you go through this again...